Staying strong

Fri, 27 Mar 2020 03:40:59 GMT

It's so hard at the moment. Every day I go into work and face the pandemic as one of the last responders, after the hospitals and quarantines fail, they come to us. The Covid victims, the detritus left behind by an uncaring and incompetent government.

I work with an amazing crew. They are all terrified as well, like hospitals and care centers we are low on supplies. We currently have gowns and gloves, but masks are long gone and unlikely to reappear soon. Yet, they go out, every day and bring your loved ones to our facility to wait. Wait until they can be cremated or buried. They wait and so do we.

I dream of an end to the puppet regime that sits in our highest office. An end to the misinformation and out right lies spread by Satan in a Spray Tan. That Golden Calf worshiped by the confused, ignorant, and in some cases outright soulless.

Every time I see another press release from He Who Should Not Be Named, my soul shrivels in response. Trapped in a nightmare that we as a nation cannot seem to wake from.

Please, any Deity that is listening, please take pity on our world.

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Ramblings of a depressed woman

Fri, 23 Sep 2016 03:58:26 GMT

The house is in turmoil - to much time together, to many adults all in the same house Its very difficult when two of the adults are the grown children of the other two.

Anger festers and boils out over trivial comments.

No one apologizes for the hurt, the pain, the sorrow caused. Each would rather have the other apologize.

Old angers and hurts are dragged out and reviewed.

We were terrible parents. We spanked, sometimes unjustly, its easy to point and say that this is where you did the incorrect thing.

The self loathing I feel for not being a better parent is crippling. I wish I had better role models, but I am a product of my parents. A battered and abused wife, an alcoholic and abusive father, whom I suspect of having some bi-polar tendencies, based on reviewing my memories. Its too late to know, both are long dead and their children reap their sowing.

Too long too late. My children are grown and alternately love and hate us in turn. They want to escape to another state. I wish I could make it possible for them.

I wish that I could get any of us to have a conversation with out it turning into a battle.

I wish, I wish, I wish, but none of that does any good.

Eventually they will leave and we will be left behind, as it should be, but the thought hurts.

Oh well. It is what it is and I can only accept it.

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Across the sky I reach for you

Staying strong

Ramblings of a depressed woman